


The Angel in Pink

by truth_renowned



Category: Agent Carter (TV)
Genre: Gen, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-08
Updated: 2018-06-08
Packaged: 2019-05-19 12:51:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 798
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14874086
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/truth_renowned/pseuds/truth_renowned
Summary: Bernard Stark believes he and Edwin Jarvis started off on the wrong (webbed) foot.





	The Angel in Pink

**Author's Note:**

  * For [lillianmmalter](https://archiveofourown.org/users/lillianmmalter/gifts), [LeesaPerrie](https://archiveofourown.org/users/LeesaPerrie/gifts).



> A treat for lillianmmalter and LeesaPerrie, who both requested a Bernard fic. Enjoy!

Oh, Edwin. You are such a joy. I do value our time together, though I doubt you share the sentiment.

You call me The Devil in Pink, but I believe that is a misnomer. Despite your impression, I find my demeanor quite reserved compared to some of my compatriots from the zoo. Franklin, for instance, insisted on attacking the zookeepers every chance he got. Anastasia would, how can I put this delicately… she would use one of our feeding areas as her own personal restroom. Disgusting, philistine behavior, if you ask me. Beneath a flamingo of my stature.

One of the zookeepers used to read to us each day, from the time I was a chick. She said she was a literature major, whatever that is, and the tales she read to us were delightful. Others ignored her, but I listened to her every word. That is one of my favorite memories from the zoo. Her name was Ana. Perhaps that is why I like your female. It doesn’t hurt that your Ana shares with me what she calls goulash. It’s quite good, a nice change of pace from my normal shrimp and carrots.

I understand that because we are different species, you may see some of my behavior as odd. Allow me to enlighten you. You should know that we flamingos are very social creatures. Perhaps you see my squawking, as you put it, as me expressing my displeasure. Not at all. I’m simply calling out for any nearby flamingos. I’m used to being in a large flock of several of my kind. Such is the nature of flamingo life, though many of my flock at the zoo behaved like the rhinoceroses. Filthy creatures, those rhinos.

I'm a bit of an anomaly of my kind, though. I prefer a much smaller flock, those with my same refinement. For a flamingo, I have simple needs. A nice enclosure, a good meal, a pond to stand in, and you have provided all of this for me. The only thing I lack here is a mate. We flamingos mate for life, which, from what I have seen from human behavior, may be a different concept for many of your kind. I regret that I have not had the chance to mate. You see, I was courting the lovely Gwendolyn just before my extraction from the zoo and placement here. It’s one of my regrets, as Gwendolyn was a fine flamingo.

I must admit that I, too, see the behavior of some of your species as odd. For example, your mating rituals. The way in which some of your kind show affection is an enigma to me. Two of the zookeepers would toss their clothes about and contort themselves in illogical positions on the grassy area of our enclosure at night. They made quite the ruckus. The human you call the-walking-headache-that-is-Howard-Stark has done the same contortions and made the same ruckus, right outside my enclosure, with several females of your species.

But I digress. Back to flamingo behavior. You should know that my leaving the enclosure without permission is not an affront to you. It’s in my nature to escape, similar to your human need to take what I believe you call a holiday. You have mentioned many a time to your Ana that you need to get away from the-walking-headache-that-is-Howard-Stark. So you understand my desire to flee, even if just for a short time. 

Another fact you should realize is that running from you is simply my way of exercising my legs. Flamingos need exercise, you know. Though I admit, it does tickle my fancy to watch you try to catch me. I’m not the mean-spirited sort, but I get bored easily. Again, perhaps a female would save me from boredom. Might I suggest looking into Gwendolyn’s availability?

Again, I digress. Though we do have differences, our two species have some commonalities. It’s evident to me that you and your Ana are faithful to each other, just as we flamingos are. I haven’t observed the two of you contorting yourselves together or with others. I could be mistaken, but it seems that you and your Ana are mates for life. In addition, I have observed that humans place their faces against each other, as you and your Ana do. I assume that is another sign of affection, and one that I find endearing. We also share, how shall I say this… a disdain for the-walking-headache-that-is-Howard-Stark. He tries to ruffle my feathers and calls me Bernie. I detest being called Bernie.

So as you can see, Edwin, you and I are much alike. If you could just see past your misgivings about me, I believe we could become friends. 

Though I still won’t let you catch me. I do have standards.


End file.
